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Reblogged from norsefire  358,064 notes

koizumisato:

pornithologist:

what this made me realise is that helen’s certainty implies that dash and violet were both showing signs of their powers as infants and that is the funniest thing i have ever thought of in my life because one has super speed and one turns invisible can you picture first-time parents trying to deal with a baby that sometimes fucking disappears

   

Reblogged from m-03  18,574 notes

theamazingindi:

listen, i don’t know about you, but the only people I know who actually enjoy the smell of axe body spray are not women. it’s dudes. it’s all dudes. i have worn axe body spray and walked into a room and have been complimented by legions of dudes. axe body spray is an agent of the gay agenda to make men smell better for other men to unlock their latent homosexuality and there is no stopping them now, we’re in too deep and it’s far too late.

Reblogged from pancakestein  388,313 notes

redgrieve:

fluttertree42:

why do people have quiet respectful funerals when i die i want my ashes mixed with glitter and packed tightly into a coffin and then they blow up the coffin with explosives so glitter rains down on the guests while blasting “thanks for the memories” by fall out boy

jesus god almighty